Secrets

I know that I have grown as a social being so so much in the past few years. And I am continuously growing. But there are issues that I seem to have and lines that I seem to cross at times.

There are certain friends that I seem to blow it with at times. And some more than others. There are always those one or two people who I, on nearly a weekly basis, blow it with. I say something inappropriate to them or I unintentionally betray their trust and it sets me back a few squares.

I feel like some of what I say can be deemed as inappropriate by some, but between close friends, I am able to be politically incorrect or immature. Because there is an understanding between friends that I am a sarcastic asshole who does not always think about what he says before he says it. I tell my friends that half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is bullshit since I am such a sarcastic person. It takes people a few weeks once they meet me to understand my sense of humor. But once a week I seem to go to far or say something that upsets somebody. When I am with others, it does not seem like they make these mistakes. Is it just me? Am I the only person who manages to upset somebody once or twice a week? Have I just not learned yet? Are they more socially developed than I and do not make these mistakes?

As far as the betrayal of trust, I seem to mention things in normal conversation that was told to me in confidence. I am very open with my personal life, my family and the issues therein. As a result, it is sometimes hard for me to be able to tell when I have been told something in confidence that is supposed to stay confident, because I am not used to filtering my own life in that way. I guess the way that I deal with issues is that I talk them out with everybody, ask for their advice or thoughts and go from there. Others just prefer to keep it to themselves and a few others they can trust. I do not know if I can tell everybody freely about my issues because I trust everybody automatically, if I do not really have any secrets or if I do not care what others think about me or my life. I think that all three of those items are true. That is how I cope with issues. Others cope with things in other means and I am not used to the rules and means of those coping techniques, so it is easy for me to cross the line.

Please stay tuned for more stories of this average life.